If you haven't been completely disconnected from the world recently, you've likely encountered the buzz surrounding a new dating trend called 'Shrekking'.

With 'cuffing season' about to kick off, it's no surprise that many singles are eager to find a steady relationship.

However, some who have been unlucky in love are resorting to a more drastic method to secure a future partner through this 'Shrekking' phenomenon—something you might want to steer clear of, as per a relationship expert who has issued a warning about this seemingly toxic dating trend gaining traction among Gen Z.

As you might have guessed, the term draws inspiration from the unexpected romance between ogre Shrek and Princess Fiona in the popular animated series. Despite its clever name, there are numerous reasons why you should avoid 'Shrekking' someone you're interested in dating.

What on earth is 'Shrekking' and why is the internet obsessed with it right now? (The Good Brigade / Getty Images)

What is 'Shrekking'?

In essence, Hayley explains to Tyla that Shrekking involves intentionally choosing to 'date down' in terms of physical appearance, hoping that a less attractive partner will treat you better.

"This employs the crude logic that if dating people you're genuinely attracted to hasn't worked out, then dating someone you're not that into might make them more appreciative of the relationship," she elaborates.

"While being open-minded about your type can be beneficial, expecting someone less attractive to feel grateful for the opportunity to date you is quite a stretch."

The term takes inspiration from the unlikely romance between ogre Shrek and Princess Fiona (DreamWorks)

How ethical is 'Shrekking'?

Hayley points out that if you've been single for a while, it's natural to consider changing your dating approach to achieve different results.

She continues: "As a dating coach, I always advise people not to be overly fixated on a specific type, nor to rely solely on an immediate spark. However, the ethical issue with this dating strategy is that it hinges on the hope that someone will treat you differently because you view them as less attractive than yourself."

Thus, the expert notes, instead of truly re-evaluating traits beyond appearance, you're essentially judging people based on conventional attractiveness.

There's a pretty major 'ethical snag' when it comes to 'Shrekking' (AleksandarNakic / Getty Images)

Why is 'Shrekking' gaining traction among Gen Z now?

"People are turning to Shrekking because they're constantly disappointed with dating," Hayley begins. "Gen Z might feel as though they've been caught in the cycle of excitement and letdown too many times after meeting someone new, prompting them to take drastic measures!"

She attributes 'part of this' to the relatable challenges of dating in your 20s and early 30s, 'where you learn difficult lessons about what to prioritize in seeking a long-term partner'.

"Dating is challenging; people often depend on dating apps, feel socially anxious in person, and face a wave of flakiness. In this context, it's easy to see why they're willing to try an extreme dating trend to regain control," Hayley adds.

The dating coach says that people opt for 'Shrekking' because they're facing constant disappointment with dating (DreamWorks)

What to do if you get 'Shrekked'?

Even before it was labeled 'Shrekking', many people have experienced giving someone they weren't very interested in a chance, only to be let down by their behavior.

Hayley describes this as a 'double hit to your ego', explaining: "You initially lowered your standards, and then even someone you weren't very interested in ended up disappointing you. Ouch.

"This disappointment could stem from their reluctance to commit or displaying the same undesirable behaviors as others you've dated."

If you've experienced this, don't worry—you're not destined for bad relationships.

"However, you do need to reconsider how you're choosing people," the expert advises: "Opting for someone you're not attracted to on the hope they'll treat you better is just guesswork.

"Instead, slow down your dating process and make no assumptions! Adopt a neutral mindset where, rather than predicting how a relationship will unfold, observe how someone shows up for you daily and open up gradually.

"You'll likely find that some people (regardless of their looks) will let you down, while others may pleasantly surprise you."

Hayley warns anyone planning on 'Shrekking' a prospective partner to 'watch your mindset' (Janina Steinmetz / Getty Images)

A 'Shrekking' warning

"Being flexible about your type can be beneficial," Hayley says. "However, if you're considering Shrekking, be mindful of your mindset. If you're thinking something like, 'well, they're not as attractive as me, so they should be grateful to be with me,' you're prioritizing the wrong things and setting your ego up for a fall!"

Instead, choose to think along the lines of: "Beyond looks, there are many qualities that are more important to me in a partner, and I'm going to take my time selecting someone."

Hayley states that this is a much better approach, concluding: "If you're on the other end of the spectrum, and are dating someone you find really attractive, but who isn't treating you well; remember not to give them any extra credit for their looks.

"It's not a choice: You can date someone you find attractive and who treats you well. A relationship without respect is always on borrowed time.

So prioritize your self-esteem and say goodbye to relationships that don't feel equitable."

Understood.